Archive for funny

Is that your fem line, or are you just happy to see me?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 8, 2009 by phleb

We have a frequent flyer who is an IV drug user.  Because he has destroyed all of his veins, he used to get central lines or arterial lines put in when he will be having a longer stay.  This is no more.  Why, you might ask?

The last time they gave him a line (a femoral line, aka. fem line, in this case), he decided he’d had enough of the hospital and was going to leave AMA.  One of the phlebotomists watched him walk down the hall and towards the elevator, all dressed and ready to leave.  With his fem line sticking out of the bottom of his shorts.  She went to his nurse and said, “Did you know Mr. X is leaving?”  The nurse said, “Finally!”  And went back to her paperwork.  The phlebotomist said, “His fem line is still in.”  The nurse went pale and screamed down the hall, ” STOP HIM!!!!”  Security was called and had to bring him back to his room so that he didn’t leave the hospital like that.  Now he doesn’t get central lines.